The Day Everything Changed

You would think
The day that changed your life would have at least been

Instead you learned about it months later,
after the pieces had fallen,
when the towers cracked and facades fell

but the ripples just go on and on,
don’t they?

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Double checking the bills, counting the savings, setting aside even a bit more for the future…
Makes me wish a bit
Wish it were all a bit less, a bit easier.

Or did you forget that redemption is costly?

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Hope is Believing In the Seed of a Pine


I’m just a tiny little thing. You’ve not met me before, probably never paid me much mind.

But that’s okay. I don’t take up much room.

but you’re full of me, my brothers and I

We make you tick. When we follow the plans we were given from the beginning we can do great things.

We can build a whole you.

But how quickly we are led astray, with ambitions to grow and grow and grow

Let’s be humble and obedient to the plans that were from the beginning.

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The Secrets of Sickness

I remember that day
in the car with Family
explaining, explaining, explaining

How the sickness grows
How it’s behavior is like a disobedient
child, a child who refuses to listen

Trying to explain plainly to a child
(and the adults, of course)
But does it make sense to anyone?

Don’t say too much, too vulgar
He’s young
The other one is young, but not that much

“Growing” we understand
“Misplaced” makes sense
“sickness” we see.
but the totality? The cost and effect?

He says “But why would it do that?”
Why, indeed.

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Flat White

Sometimes I wonder if coffee is
just a bit racist.
It’s either “black”
or “white”
but isn’t all coffee a bit brownish?

I remember that day in the ER
(Because when your oncologist says “Go!”
you go.)
And the buttons on the vending machine
asked if I wanted “whitener” for my coffee
not milk. not cream. not soy
just “whitener”

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My dad is an operations researcher. His field comes up with all these awesome tools for optimizing things – from industrial operations like cutting fabric to very intimate things like nutrition and time management. Personally, I think these tools are powerful enough to solve many of the world’s problems, from environmental ones to health related ones. Unfortunately, as my dad points out, getting people to use decision tools is hard. We don’t want to.

In my mind this is why a lot of people tend to simplify these things. “Just give up carbs, and your life will be wonderful” or “The solution to a good life is sleeping well.” or “Drink acai berry juice and solve all your health problems!!!” “Eat clean!!” “Eat Raw!!” “Go all natural!! It’s better for you!!!!!”

It blows my mind sometimes. I know science really does show that some types of modern developments are verifiably BAD. For example, chlorofluorcarbons catalyze a reaction that destroys ozone. Vinyl chloride is a known carcinogen. I can look at all of this, and say, woah, humanity has invented some pretty terrible things, that have all kinds of unintended consequences.

Okay – so I can see why this “natural living” back to the basics kind of movement exists. It’s even tempting, really. Get rid of plasics from your life, and decrease your exposure to endocrine disruptors like BPA. Sounds shiny.


I. Cannot. Swallow. This. Argument.

“natural is better for you!!” [and] “consider the placebo effect!!”*



I might become a plastic-free, wooden toy, cloth diaper toting momma one day, but I will not be sold on the idea that natural is – be default and always – better. I’m sorry – really? Cyanide is natural. Arsenic is natural. Asbestos is natural. And I ain’t putting that in my house.

When my man or my family gets sick, I will not be sold on “natural is better” or “placebos are great!!” Disease is no lover of man, and cancer is a cruel trickster. When the rubber hits the road I want the best that modern medicine can give. And if that’s some synthetic compound, I, for one, will praise the artificial.

*This is quoted verbatim from a (legitimate?) home remedies website, which shall remain nameless.

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New new!

Hey All,

The City Theologist Blog has now migrated to:!

I will continue to post here, though the focus of the content may vary.

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